Top 5 Bachelor and Bachelorette Party Alternatives for 2024

The wedding bells are ringing, and it's time for that one last hoorah before tying the knot! Bachelor and bachelorette parties have long been synonymous with wild nights, flashy clubs, and risqué activities. However, the evolving preferences of modern couples have sparked a revolution in pre-wedding celebrations. Today, it's all about crafting unique and memorable experiences that go beyond the stereotypical norms.

Traditionally, these parties were centered around the typical tropes of revelry, but the current landscape sees a shift toward more tailored and unconventional celebrations. Couples are now seeking immersive experiences that reflect their personalities, interests, and values, making these gatherings not just a party but an opportunity to create lasting memories.

In this blog post, we're diving into a world of innovative ideas, exploring the top five alternatives for bachelor and bachelorette parties. From adrenaline-pumping adventures to culturally enriching escapades, we'll unveil a spectrum of options designed to cater to different tastes and preferences. Join us as we step away from the ordinary and discover unique ways to celebrate love, friendship, and the journey ahead.

1: Adventure Escapades

When it comes to bachelor and bachelorette parties, there's a growing trend steering away from the usual nightclub scenes and instead venturing into the heart-pounding realm of adventure escapades. These experiences offer an adrenaline rush and an opportunity for bonding amidst thrilling activities. Here’s a few quick ideas for how you can incorporate your sense of adventure into your pre-wedding plans:

Destination Camping: Disconnecting in Nature's Embrace

Picture this: a serene getaway into the wilderness, far from the bustling cityscape. Destination camping offers a chance to immerse oneself in nature's embrace, forging unforgettable memories around a crackling campfire. Whether it's hiking through scenic trails, stargazing under the open sky, or sharing stories around the fire, this experience fosters camaraderie and a sense of adventure. It's a perfect escape to unwind, disconnect from technology, and reconnect with friends in a tranquil setting.

Extreme Sports Extravaganza: Skydiving, Bungee Jumping, and More

For thrill-seekers, an extreme sports extravaganza is the ultimate way to celebrate. Imagine leaping out of a plane with a tandem skydive or experiencing the heart-pounding thrill of bungee jumping. These adrenaline-fueled activities not only provide an exhilarating rush but also create shared moments of courage and excitement. Bonding over the nervous excitement before the jump and the sheer exhilaration afterward, it's an experience that forges lifelong memories.

Road Trip Bonanza: Exploring Uncharted Territories

Embark on an epic road trip adventure with friends, exploring uncharted territories and hidden gems along the way. Whether it's cruising along a scenic coastline, winding through picturesque mountain ranges, or discovering quaint towns, a road trip bonanza offers endless possibilities. From spontaneous pit stops to memorable sing-alongs in the car, this experience allows the bridal party to bond over shared adventures and create an abundance of stories to cherish.

In this evolving landscape of bachelor and bachelorette celebrations, these adventure escapades offer a departure from the ordinary, fostering camaraderie, shared experiences, and unforgettable moments that will be talked about long after the wedding day.

2: Creative Retreats

In the pursuit of memorable and unique bachelor and bachelorette parties, creative retreats stand out as immersive experiences that nurture artistic expression, relaxation, and bonding among friends.

DIY Workshops: Pottery, Painting, Cooking Classes, etc.

Unleash your creative side by engaging in do-it-yourself (DIY) workshops. From pottery throwing to painting sessions or even mastering a new culinary skill in cooking classes, these workshops offer a hands-on experience that fosters creativity and camaraderie. The shared joy of creating something unique together amplifies the bonds among friends while leaving each participant with a tangible memento of the celebration.

Spa Retreats: Pampering and Relaxation for Everyone

For those seeking relaxation and rejuvenation, a spa retreat can be the ultimate indulgence. Whether it's a day at a luxurious spa or a weekend getaway at a wellness resort, pampering treatments, massages, and serene environments provide the perfect setting for unwinding. These retreats not only offer physical rejuvenation but also create opportunities for intimate conversations, laughter, and a deep sense of relaxation before the wedding hustle.

Escape Room Challenges: Team-Building and Fun Puzzles

Escape room challenges provide an exciting combination of teamwork, problem-solving, and thrill. Engage in a themed adventure, solve puzzles, and unlock clues to escape within a set time. These challenges encourage teamwork, communication, and camaraderie while also infusing a sense of accomplishment upon successfully completing the mission. It's an ideal choice for groups seeking a mentally stimulating and engaging experience.

Creative retreats bring together the joys of self-expression, relaxation, and teamwork, offering a refreshing departure from the traditional party scene. These experiences not only create lasting memories but also nurture bonds among friends in unique and enriching ways, setting the tone for an unforgettable celebration.

3: Cultural Immersion

Shifting away from the conventional partying scene, cultural immersion experiences have emerged as a popular choice for bachelor and bachelorette celebrations. These experiences delve into local flavors, histories, and traditions, offering a rich tapestry of memories.

Food Tours: Indulging in Local Delicacies and Culinary Adventures

Embark on a gastronomic journey through a city's culinary landscape with a food tour. Sample local delicacies, explore food markets, or indulge in a curated dining experience. Sharing unique dishes and savoring new flavors not only tantalizes the taste buds but also sparks conversations and creates shared memories around the table.

City Scavenger Hunts: Discovering Hidden Gems and Local Lore

City scavenger hunts present an exciting way to explore and discover hidden gems while uncovering the city's history and culture. Teams navigate through clues and challenges, exploring iconic landmarks and offbeat locales. It's an engaging and interactive experience that promotes teamwork, laughter, and friendly competition while discovering the soul of a city.

Heritage Tours: Exploring Historical Sites and Landmarks

Immerse yourself in history and culture by embarking on a heritage tour. Explore historical sites, museums, or architectural wonders, delving into the rich heritage of a region. These tours not only provide educational insights but also foster meaningful conversations and reflections, creating a deeper connection with the destination and each other.

Cultural immersion experiences offer a unique blend of exploration, discovery, and appreciation for local traditions. They not only celebrate the diversity of a place but also strengthen bonds among friends through shared experiences and newfound cultural insights, making the celebration truly memorable and impactful.

4: Relaxation and Pampering

As the wedding approaches, some prefer a more laid-back and indulgent approach to pre-wedding celebrations. These relaxation and pampering experiences offer a chance to unwind, bond, and create lasting memories in serene and luxurious settings.

Beach Getaways: Sun, Sand, and Serenity

Escape to the beach for a tranquil retreat with sun-kissed sands and the soothing sound of waves. Beach getaways provide the perfect backdrop for relaxation, offering opportunities for lounging, beach games, water sports, or simply soaking up the sun. It's an idyllic setting to unwind, share laughter, and create unforgettable moments by the sea.

Vineyard Tours: Wine Tasting and Gourmet Dining

Indulge in a sophisticated yet relaxed atmosphere by opting for a vineyard tour. Enjoy wine tastings, guided tours of picturesque vineyards, and gourmet dining experiences. Sipping on fine wines amidst breathtaking scenery not only tantalizes the palate but also fosters conversations, laughter, and a shared appreciation for good company and exceptional tastes.

Yacht or Houseboat Rental: Luxurious Time on the Water

For a luxurious and exclusive celebration, consider renting a yacht or houseboat. Sail away into the calm waters, enjoying panoramic views and upscale amenities. Whether it's a day cruise or an overnight stay, these experiences offer privacy, comfort, and an ambiance of luxury, providing the perfect setting for intimate conversations and creating cherished memories.

Relaxation and pampering experiences provide an escape from the hustle and bustle of daily life, allowing the bridal party to unwind, connect, and celebrate in serene and luxurious settings. These moments of tranquility and indulgence set the stage for a memorable and rejuvenating pre-wedding celebration.

5: Unique Themed Parties

For those seeking to infuse their bachelor and bachelorette celebrations with creativity and novelty, themed parties present an avenue for fun, imagination, and a break from conventionality.

Retro Throwback: '80s or '90s Themes with Costumes and Games

Step back in time with a retro-themed celebration, embracing the nostalgia of the '80s or '90s. Encourage guests to dress in iconic fashion from the era and incorporate classic games and music. From neon attire to iconic movie references, reliving the past creates an atmosphere of playful reminiscence and shared laughter.

Masquerade Ball: Elegant, Mysterious, and Glamorous

Indulge in an evening of sophistication and allure with a masquerade ball. Don elegant masks, glamorous attire, and immerse yourselves in an atmosphere of mystery and elegance. The opulent setting and masked identities add an air of intrigue, making it an unforgettable and enchanting affair.

Fantasy Themes: Fairytale, Superheroes, or Sci-Fi Fantasies

Let imagination run wild with a fantasy-themed celebration. Whether it's a fairytale-inspired gathering, a superhero-themed extravaganza, or an exploration of sci-fi fantasies, these themes encourage creativity and engagement. Dressing up as beloved characters and embracing the fantastical elements injects a sense of adventure and whimsy into the celebration.

Unique themed parties offer an opportunity for guests to step into different worlds, unleashing their creativity and embracing a playful spirit. These themed celebrations infuse a sense of novelty, excitement, and shared camaraderie, making the bachelor and bachelorette parties a memorable and immersive experience for everyone involved.

Embrace Your Individuality

The evolution of bachelor and bachelorette parties has transitioned from conventional revelry to a diverse landscape of unique and personalized experiences. This shift reflects the desire of couples and their friends to celebrate in ways that truly resonate with their personalities and interests.

Exploring the top five alternatives for these pre-wedding celebrations has revealed a spectrum of options, from adventurous escapades to cultural immersions, creative retreats, relaxation, and themed parties. Each avenue offers its distinct charm, fostering bonds, creating shared memories, and setting the stage for an unforgettable celebration of love and friendship.

In embracing these alternative celebrations, friends and couples have discovered the power of tailored experiences that go beyond the standard party scenes. These experiences have enabled them to forge deeper connections, explore new horizons, and celebrate in ways that reflect their individuality.

As the wedding day draws closer, the memories created during these unique celebrations will stand as a testament to the joy, camaraderie, and bonds shared among friends. They serve as a reminder that celebrating love and friendship need not conform to any set norms but should resonate authentically with the individuals involved.

The journey to "I do" is not just about the wedding day but also about the moments leading up to it. Bachelor and bachelorette parties, reimagined through these alternatives, have become an integral part of that journey, weaving tales of adventure, laughter, and cherished memories that will last a lifetime. Cheers to celebrating love in diverse and meaningful ways!

Top 5 Bridal Shower Alternatives for 2024

Tradition has long held a revered place in the world of bridal showers, with gatherings traditionally designed to "shower" the bride-to-be with gifts, advice, and cherished memories before her big day. Yet, in today's ever-evolving landscape of wedding celebrations, a growing trend emerges—one that seeks to break away from the conventional.

Bridal showers, once steeped in time-honored customs, are now transforming into events that reflect the individuality and passions of the bride. The desire for unique, personalized experiences has inspired a shift away from the traditional tea parties and gift openings to more tailored and distinctive celebrations.

In this blog post, we'll explore a departure from the usual, delving into five refreshing alternatives for bridal showers that promise to create lasting memories while embracing the essence of the bride-to-be. From destination retreats to charity-focused gatherings, each idea offers a distinctive way to honor the bride's journey toward matrimony while celebrating her individuality and passions.

As the wedding landscape evolves, so too do the ways we celebrate love and union. Join us on this exploration of alternative bridal shower ideas, where tradition meets innovation and where the celebration of love knows no bounds.

1: Destination Retreat - Celebrating Amidst Tranquility

In the realm of bridal showers, the concept of whisking away the bride-to-be and her closest companions to a serene destination has gained remarkable traction. A destination retreat offers an idyllic escape from the hustle and bustle of wedding preparations, providing a haven for relaxation and bonding.

Description:

Imagine picturesque landscapes or the soothing sound of crashing waves as the backdrop for an unforgettable celebration. Whether it's a secluded cabin nestled in the woods, a serene spa weekend, or a sun-soaked beach getaway, destination retreats promise a retreat from the ordinary.

Benefits:

The allure of a destination retreat lies in its ability to foster deep connections and lasting memories. Away from the familiar surroundings, the bride and her entourage can immerse themselves in uninterrupted quality time. This setting allows for genuine conversations, laughter, and the creation of cherished moments, all while indulging in the beauty of the surroundings.

Ideas:

Consider various destination possibilities tailored to the bride's preferences. A cozy mountain cabin retreat could cater to a nature-loving bride, while a luxurious spa weekend might be perfect for a bride seeking relaxation and pampering. A beach getaway, complete with sun, sand, and ocean waves, could offer an ideal backdrop for a more laid-back celebration.

Explore specific activities to enhance the retreat experience. From sunrise yoga sessions and group meditation to indulging in local cuisine or arranging for a personalized wine tasting, the options are as diverse as the bride's interests.

For those seeking tranquility, spa retreats with massages, facials, and serene surroundings offer the perfect escape. Adventure-loving brides might prefer destinations that offer thrilling activities like zip-lining, hiking, or even hot air balloon rides.

2: DIY Workshop - Crafting Memories Together

Amidst the clamor for unconventional bridal shower experiences, the charm of a DIY workshop stands out as a delightful and hands-on alternative. Embracing creativity and collaboration, this concept fosters a unique environment for crafting cherished memories while creating something special.

Description:

Picture a gathering where creativity takes center stage. A DIY workshop for a bridal shower is an opportunity for the bride and her guests to roll up their sleeves and indulge in a variety of creative endeavors. Whether it's flower arranging, candle making, or jewelry crafting, the focus is on shared experiences and the joy of creation.

Benefits:

The allure of a DIY workshop lies in its interactive and engaging nature. It's not just about crafting; it's about bonding over shared activities. The atmosphere encourages conversation, laughter, and the sharing of tips and tricks while everyone gets their hands busy with artistic endeavors.

Ideas:

Explore various DIY workshop ideas tailored to the bride's interests and preferences. For a bride with a penchant for floral arrangements, a flower arranging session could be a blooming success. Consider hiring a florist or hosting a workshop where guests create their own floral masterpieces.

For a more hands-on approach, a candle-making session could be an aromatic delight. Providing an array of scents and colors, guests can create personalized candles, each infused with their own creativity.

For the bride who adores accessories, a jewelry crafting workshop could be the perfect fit. Guests can design and create their own bracelets, necklaces, or earrings, adding a personal touch to their gift for the bride.

Remember, the essence of a DIY workshop lies not just in the end product but in the shared experience of creating something beautiful together.

3: Adventure Day - Thrills and Bonding Beyond Boundaries

In the realm of unconventional bridal showers, the notion of an adventure-packed day stands tall, offering a thrilling departure from traditional celebrations. Adventure days are all about embracing adrenaline-fueled activities that cater to the bride's appetite for excitement and exploration.

Description:

Picture a day brimming with excitement and daring escapades. An adventure day for a bridal shower is a chance for the bride and her squad to embark on exhilarating experiences. Whether it's scaling heights while rock climbing, traversing nature trails on a hike, or navigating through a themed city-wide scavenger hunt, the focus is on shared excitement and a zest for adventure.

Benefits:

The allure of an adventure day lies in the adrenaline rush and the camaraderie it fosters. It's about pushing boundaries and making unforgettable memories together. These activities create a platform for shared laughter, support, and the thrill of overcoming challenges as a team.

Ideas:

Explore various adventurous activities aligned with the bride's interests. For a nature enthusiast, consider a hiking expedition along scenic trails or a camping trip under the stars. The tranquility of nature coupled with shared campfire stories can create lasting memories.

For a more adrenaline-pumping experience, rock climbing or indoor skydiving could be exhilarating options. These activities not only provide a rush but also build trust and encouragement among the participants.

For those seeking a more urban adventure, organize a city-wide scavenger hunt. Design challenges and clues that take participants on a journey through the city, uncovering hidden gems and landmarks while fostering teamwork and friendly competition.

Remember, the essence of an adventure day lies in the shared thrill and the celebration of pushing boundaries together, creating an unforgettable bridal shower experience.

4: Cultural Celebration - Honoring Heritage and Diversity

In the realm of unconventional bridal showers, the idea of a cultural celebration shines as a vibrant and enriching alternative. A cultural celebration is all about embracing diversity, exploring traditions, and honoring the heritage that shapes the bride's identity.

Description:

Envision a gathering that pays homage to cultural richness and diversity. A cultural celebration for a bridal shower is an opportunity to immerse oneself in the vibrant tapestry of traditions, music, cuisine, and customs that define various cultures.

Benefits:

The allure of a cultural celebration lies in its ability to bridge gaps and foster appreciation for diversity. It's about experiencing new traditions and celebrating the uniqueness of different cultures. This setting encourages learning, understanding, and a deep sense of respect for varied customs.

Ideas:

Explore various ways to infuse cultural elements into the celebration. For a bride proud of her heritage, consider organizing a themed celebration that highlights traditions from her background. This could involve preparing traditional dishes, adorning the venue with cultural decorations, or even arranging for performances showcasing traditional music or dance.

For a more explorative approach, consider hosting a multicultural event where guests have the opportunity to delve into diverse customs. Arrange for activities like learning a traditional dance from a different culture, trying out authentic cuisine from various regions, or engaging in cultural games and storytelling.

Remember, the essence of a cultural celebration lies in the embrace of diversity, fostering an environment where guests can learn, appreciate, and celebrate the richness of different cultures while honoring the bride's heritage.

5: Charity or Giving Back - Celebrating Love Through Acts of Kindness

In the realm of unconventional bridal showers, the concept of giving back stands as a heartwarming and altruistic alternative. A bridal shower centered around charity or giving back embraces the spirit of compassion and generosity, making the celebration a meaningful and impactful affair.

Description:

Imagine a gathering where the focus extends beyond the celebratory aspect to make a positive impact on the community. A charity-themed bridal shower is an opportunity to unite in acts of kindness, contributing to a cause close to the bride's heart or supporting a meaningful charity.

Benefits:

The allure of a charity-focused celebration lies in its ability to spread joy beyond the immediate circle. It's about making a difference, no matter how small, and sharing the love by giving back to those in need. This approach fosters a sense of fulfillment and gratitude among participants, amplifying the celebration's significance.

Ideas:

Explore various ways to incorporate charitable elements into the bridal shower. For a cause close to the bride's heart, consider organizing a donation drive where guests contribute to a specific charity or cause. This could involve collecting essential items for shelters, raising funds for a charity, or supporting a local community project.

For a more hands-on approach, engage in volunteer activities as part of the celebration. Plan a group volunteering session at a local soup kitchen, animal shelter, or community garden. The act of giving time and effort together can create a profound bond while making a positive impact.

Consider incorporating a charitable twist into the gift-giving aspect. Encourage guests to bring items that can be donated to a chosen cause or charity, reinforcing the spirit of giving.

Remember, the essence of a charity or giving back themed bridal shower lies in the collective effort to spread kindness and make a difference, turning the celebration into a heartwarming and meaningful experience.

Celebrating Uniqueness, Creating Lasting Memories

As the sands of tradition shift, so too does our approach to celebrating love and union. Bridal showers, once steeped in age-old customs, have blossomed into vibrant, personalized experiences that honor the individuality of the bride-to-be.

In our exploration of unconventional bridal shower ideas, we've unveiled five refreshing alternatives that transcend the boundaries of tradition. From serene destination retreats and creative DIY workshops to thrilling adventure days, vibrant cultural celebrations, and heartwarming charity-focused gatherings, each idea offers a unique canvas upon which to paint cherished memories.

These alternatives reimagine the bridal shower, emphasizing the celebration of love through shared experiences, personal connections, and acts of kindness. They encourage us to break free from the confines of convention and craft celebrations that resonate deeply with the bride's passions, interests, and values.

The essence of these alternative bridal showers lies in their ability to transcend the ordinary, fostering connections, forging bonds, and creating indelible memories that stand the test of time. They're a testament to the evolving landscape of celebrations, where tradition meets innovation, and where the heart of the celebration remains the love shared between two souls.

As we bid adieu to the conventional and embrace the extraordinary, let us continue to celebrate love in all its uniqueness, creating moments that echo with joy, laughter, and the warmth of shared experiences.

Here's to celebrating love, one unforgettable bridal shower at a time.

Wedding Venue Decision Checklist

Choosing a wedding venue is one of the most important decisions you will make when planning your wedding. Here are some things to consider when making this decision:

1. Location: Consider the distance from the ceremony venue and accessibility for your guests. Are there transportation options available? Is there ample parking or valet services?

2. Style and Ambiance: Determine what type of wedding you want to have and ensure that the venue aligns with that vision. Is it formal or casual? Rustic or modern? Indoor or outdoor?

3. Capacity: Consider the number of guests you plan to invite and ensure that the venue can accommodate the size of your wedding party. It is essential to know the maximum capacity of the venue to avoid overcrowding.

4. Cost: Determine your budget and ensure that the venue fits within it. Ask about any additional costs, such as catering, decoration, or music, that may be associated with the venue.

5. Availability: Check the availability of the venue on your wedding date and make sure that the venue is open during the season you plan to get married.

6. Services and Amenities: Find out if the venue provides any additional services, such as catering, decorations, lighting, or music. Some venues may also offer additional amenities such as bridal suites, dance floors, and photo booths.

7. Reviews and Recommendations: Read reviews and ask for recommendations from people who have used the venue before. It is essential to know what other couples have experienced with the venue.

8. Flexibility: Check if the venue allows you to customize the space to your liking and if they are open to your ideas.

9. Insurance: Make sure that the venue has liability insurance in case of accidents or injuries.

10. Contracts and Policies: Read and understand the venue's contracts and policies to avoid any last-minute surprises.

“Engagement Gap” Lessons

The engagement gap in the jewelry industry, which has been observed during the COVID-19 pandemic, tells us that there have been significant changes in the demand for high-end jewelry, particularly engagement rings. With the pandemic causing the closure or reduced capacity of brick-and-mortar stores, consumers have shifted towards online channels, which has led to an increase in overall online sales. However, the online sales of high-end jewelry have not kept pace with lower-priced items.

Furthermore, the postponement of weddings due to the pandemic has led to a decrease in demand for engagement rings and other wedding-related jewelry, resulting in the "engagement gap." This trend highlights the importance of special occasions such as weddings in driving demand for high-end jewelry.

The engagement gap also suggests that consumers are becoming more selective in their purchasing decisions and are more price-sensitive, possibly due to the economic impact of the pandemic. This could mean that jewelry companies may need to adjust their pricing and marketing strategies to appeal to changing consumer behavior.

Overall, the engagement gap indicates that the engagement ring industry, and the jewelry industry as a whole, must be flexible and adaptable to changing consumer preferences and buying habits. Companies that can successfully navigate these changes are more likely to thrive in the long term.

Bridal Couple’s Checklist

The Bride

6 Months or Longer

• Prepare a budget for the wedding and reception.

• Schedule consultation for selecting the correct color and style of wedding gown and attendants’ attire for a picture-perfect wedding.

• Begin your guest list.

• Select the time and place for the wedding and reception.

• Ask your attendees to be in your wedding.

• Order your wedding gown and bridal accessories.

• Interview florist, caterers, photographers, videographers, baker and reception entertainers.

3 To 6 Months Before

• Register for your china, crystal and other items.

• Select and register for your bridal lingerie (trousseau).

• Order bridesmaid’s dresses and accessories.

• Order invitations and other stationary, including informals and map cards.

• Meet with your clergyman and obtain a copy of the church’s wedding policies.

• Purchase the groom’s wedding ring.

• Make your final decisions on your florist, caterer, photographer, videographer, bakery and entertainment.

• Make arrangements for accommodations for your out-of-town guests.

10 To 12 Weeks Before

• Arrange transportation to the wedding and reception for your attendants and out-of-town guests.

• Choose your house party, such as the guest book attendant and photographer’s liaison, etc.

• Meet with your music director.

• Finalize the reception menu.

• Begin the fittings for your gown and the bridesmaids’ dresses/

• Coordinate showers with gift registry sources.

• Have your bridal portrait taken.

• Address invitations and announcements.

• Arrange a time and place for your bridesmaids’ luncheon, consider a chauffeur-driven limousine.

• Select gifts for your attendants.

• Double-check arrangements with your florist, caterer, photographer, videographer, bakery and entertainment.

• Schedule appointment with professional make-up artist for make-up and hair styling.

4 To 10 Weeks Before

• Mail invitations, weighing them for proper postage.

• Send your wedding picture and announcement to the newspaper.

• Finalize your fittings.

2 To 4 Weeks Before

• Finalize arrangements with your clergyman and music director.

• Inform the wedding party and close family members of the time and place for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

• Apply for the pressing of your wedding down and bridesmaids’ dresses.

• Pick up lingerie trousseau.

• Arrange for someone to take your dress to be heirloomed or preserved after the wedding.

• Arrange for someone to take your bouquet to be preserved or dried after the wedding.

Week of the Wedding

• Dive the final guest count to your caterer 72 hours before the reception.

• Finalize direction of the rehearsal and wedding with your wedding consultant.

Day of the Wedding

• Mail wedding announcements.

• Arrive at the wedding site at least two hours before the ceremony.

The Groom

6 Months or Longer

• Prepare a budget for your share of the wedding and honeymoon expenses.

• Purchase engagement and wedding rings.

• Begin interviewing with travel agents to arrange your honeymoon.

• Begin your guest list - ask the bride’s family the number of guests you can invite.

• Ask your attendants to be in the wedding.

3 To 6 Months Before

• Arrange lodging for attendants and close family members coming from out-of-town.

• Ask the bride’s family to determine your share of the florist bill.

• Reserve the restaurant or other facility for the rehearsal dinner, consider a limousine service for transportation.

• You may want to go with your bride to register for china, crystal, [*]

• Make an appointment for you and your bride to visit your clergyman.

10 To 12 Weeks Before

• You and your attendants must be measured for tuxedos.

• Inform the wedding party where and when the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner will take place.

4 To 10 Weeks Before

• Select gifts for your attendants. 

• Reconfirm honeymoon plans.

• Book limousine service.

2 To 4 Weeks Before

• Apply for your marriage license with your bride.

• Ask your best man to prepare a toast to give you and your bride at the reception.

• If you’re going to have a new address after the wedding, file change-of-address cards with the post office and correspondents. 

Week Of The Wedding

• Give the final guest count to the caterer for the rehearsal dinner, confirm bridal party transportation.

• Take your marriage license to the rehearsal.

• Reconfirm honeymoon plans.

Day Of The Wedding

• Give the clergyman’s check to the best man to handle.

• Arrive at the wedding site, along with your attendants. 1 ½ hours before the ceremony.

Flower Power

A BOUNTIFUL ARRAY of beautiful blossoms creates an atmosphere of romance! On your wonderful wedding day, pretty posies tell the world how you feel about each other!

FLOWERS SPEAK a language all their own - WE use them to say so many things: "I love you," "Im sorry. or "Get better soon. Every flower holds meaning all its own - take the time to choose the kinds and colors that express your personal sentiments.

Flowers play a major role at your wedding; arrangements may be as simple or elaborate as you desire. A professional florist's advice is invaluable - working together, you can achieve the perfect ambiance for your wedding.

Choose your florist three to six months before the big day. He may wish to visit the wedding and reception sites to view the layout. Provide photos and fabric swatches if possible from your wedding gown and attendants' dresses. Details on the groom's and mothers' attire are helpful in planning your wedding decorations.

Decide if you wish to use fresh or silk flowers. Fresh flowers add fragrance and a more natural look to the ceremony; silk flowers hold up better in hot weather and are available in any color. A combination of the two utilizes the best of both worlds.

Descriptions of floral arrangements should be written into your contract. Total cost should also be included - make sure the document is complete before you sign. Take care to choose a reputable, talented florist - one who can express your deepest feelings through the language of flowers.

You'll want to carry a bouquet that complements your wedding gown and is scaled to your proportions. Traditional bouquets are composed of all-white blooms, usualIv in a cascade style - roses, orchids, stephan-otis, lilies of the valley and gardenias are commonly used. Today, brides often carry bouquets in colors taken from their wedding palette.

One currently popular style is the natural-look bouquet - an airy arrangement which may include wildflowers with stems showing. This type of bouquet can be held in front or draped over the bride's arm. Other favorite arrangements include a round or crescent-shaped bouquet, a nosegay, a single flower or a flower-covered prayer book

BRIDE'S THROWAWAY BOUQUET

Although some brides may toss their actual bridal bouquet, most prefer to keep that arrangement. At the bouquet-tossing ceremony, a detachable section or another small bouquet may be thrown.

FLORAL HEADPIECES

Brides often wear headpieces of orange blossoms or other light flowers, which may be real or silk. These headpieces are usually cres-cent-shaped, fitting across the head like a headband, or a circle that sits on the crown. A veil can be attached to this ornament.

BRIDE'S GOING-AWAY CORSAGE

After changing into traveling clothes before leaving the reception, it is sometimes customary for the groom to present a small corsage to the bride to wear while traveling.

Another option: have your florist blend a honeymoon corsage into the bridal bouquet.

BRIDAL ATTENDANTS

Bridesmaids and maid of honor usually carry similar arrangements; the maid of honor's may be more elaborate. Attendants may carry traditional bouquets, or alternative arrangements: baskets of blooms, long-stemmed flowers over one arm, or a single, perfect rose.

If the bride wears a floral headpiece, attendants may wear a single bloom, spray or wreath of the same blossoms.

GROOM AND MALE ATTENDANTS

The groom and each male member of the wedding party, including fathers, customarily wear a boutonniere in the left lapel.

Traditionally, the bloom was a white rose or carnation, but as bridal bouquets have become more colorful, so have boutonnieres. The groom's boutonniere should differ from the others - he might wear a lapel spray, or a flower from the bride's bouquet.

YOUNG ATTENDANTS

Flower girls traditionally carry baskets of loose petals to be strewn in the bride's path, but may also carry a miniature bouquet in a basket or a small nosegay. They also might wear a spray or wreath of flowers in their hair.

The ring bearer should wear a boutonniere just like the groomsmen. You may wish to decorate the ringbearer's cushion with a sprig of flowers

MOTHERS, GRANDMOTHERS AND OTHER VERY SPECIAL PEOPLE

It is customary to present the mothers and grandmothers of the bridal couple with flowers to wear at the wedding. These arrangements may be made up of flowers that coordinate with their dresses; personal preferences should also be considered. If grandfathers are present, they, too, would receive boutonnieres.

A corsage or boutonniere is a perfect way to honor others who contribute to your wed-ding. The guest book and gift table attendants are examples of special helpers to thank.

CEREMONY SITE

Flowers at the ceremony vary considerably depending on location and style of the wed-ding. If the marriage takes place in a church, at least one arrangement should decorate each side of the altar. Adorn the end of each pew with ribbons and flowers,

If your ceremony is held at a private home, club, hotel or other secular location, flowers and greenery are especially important. The arrangements serve as a romantic back-drop, taking the place of the church altar, and can be used to mark aisles.

RECEPTION SITES

Some brides may wish to use the altar arrangements from the wedding to decorate the reception area; this is perfectly acceptable. Others feel ceremony and reception flowers should be considered separately.

Church flowers should relate to the ceremony, arranged in a more serene, subtle fashion, while reception flowers would promote an unrestrained air of celebration. This is strictly a matter of personal preference.

As more time is spent at the reception than at the ceremony itself, many brides elect to concentrate the majority of their decorating efforts on the party facility. Centerpieces contribute greatly to the visual impact of the reception festivities.

Dinner and refreshment tables may hold anything from a few fresh blooms to an elaborate silk floral arrangement. Candles, baskets and topiaries are often part of centerpiece arrangements

Head-table centerpieces should sit low; the view of the bridal party must be unobstructed. Place potted plants and ferns at either end of the receiving line to add to the ambiance of warmth and welcome as guests arrive.

Bouquet Beauties

Some brides have an absolutely specific floral arrangement in mind, complete with the coloring and types of flowers, when they choose a florist for their wedding. Most others are overwhelmed with today's choices of bridal bouquet styles. Arm yourself with a little flower-know-how before you visit your florist and you'll be better able to explain the flowers of your dreams!

hand-tied: a method of arranging the flowers into a rounded shape and tying the stems together, covering the string with a nice ribbon - the stems are trimmed to an even length and are allowed to show

nosegay: a rounded cluster of flowers hand-tied or gathered in a bouquet holder

cascade: a bouquet that is anchored in a holder, with blooms, ribbons, pearls or greenery pouring over the front side

arm bunch: think of Miss America - a bouquet almost looking like it was pulled right out of a garden and draped across the bride's arm, often tied with ribbon to hold the long stems together 

pomander ball: many flowers and greenery are attached to a ball shape, and are held by an attached ribbon

Picture Perfect

A TENDER MOMENT, captured in a silver frame on an office desk. A special home movie to pop into the DVD player on a snuggly winter night. Wedding pictures keep the memories alive. LONG AFTER THE WEDDING DRESS IS packed away, the caterer is on to the next wedding, and the thank-you notes are mailed - the photographs and videos remain. The documentation of the beginning of your new family will be cherished in future generations.

PHOTOGRAPHY

Book your photographer six months in advance to ensure he or she is available for your wedding date. When choosing a pho-tographer, there are several important things to remember.

Select a photographer who does weddings for a living, not as a part-time or weekend job. Do not entrust this blessed event to an amateur or friend. You don't want to risk losing the recording of this once-in-a-lifetime occasion.

Protect your wedding memories by using a professional. And make sure he or she has extra cameras, lenses and lighting equipment on hand as back-ups in case of emergency.

Choose a photographer with whom you are compatible and who puts you at ease. If there is a personality conflict between you and the photographer, you may end up with photos of your best sneer instead of your best smile!

Look for a photographer whose judgement and opinions you trust. Remember, you'll be spending a lot of time with the "cameraman" on your wedding day, relying on him or her to capture those special moments.

When you meet with a photographer, view sample wedding albums to obtain a clear impression of the overall style in which the photographer covers a wedding. Look for color, sharpness and detail of the photographs.

Determine the type of photographs you prefer - a formal posed look, candids or a combination of both formats. Communicate clearly with your photographer to ensure the best results. Make sure he or she knows exactly what you want - you only get one chance to make things right.

Obtain information on package sizes and prices, deposits, retouching charges, travel expenses and any other costs. Wedding packages can range from several hundred dollars to well into the thousands. Make sure everything you need is included in your package - formal portrait, black-and-white print for the news-paper, wedding album, etc. Find out the cost of additional prints and "mini-albums" for parents and close friends.

Finally, be sure everything you've agreed to is written in a contract. Other details that should be in writing include: when the photographer will arrive at the wedding and leave the reception, how he will be dressed, and the number of rolls of film that will be shot.

When you meet with your photographer, come prepared with pertinent information regarding your wedding. It's also helpful if he or she knows the style, color and setting of the wedding so he or she can best capture the mood and the moment.

Let your photographer know the size of your wedding party, and provide him or her with a list of special friends or relatives with whom you would like to be photographed.

It's helpful to designate a friend or relative to point out those people you want photographed during the reception.

VIDEOGRAPHY

Once a mere stepchild of photography, videography has quickly become an exciting, essential part of the wedding celebration.

The guidelines for selecting a videographer parallel those for choosing a photogra-pher. The number one rule - use a profes-sional! Don't be tempted to take advantage of your Uncle Joe's camcorder. That would be like asking your Aunt Ruth to take your wedding photographs with her instamatic.

There are no "second takes." Hire a professional with professional equipment, and your memories are safe.

Make sure your videographer has top-notch cameras and digital editing equipment. Your videographer must be experienced and well-trained on the equipment he uses.

Different audio techniques include the use of wireless remote microphones the groom can wear during the ceremony to capture your vows, a feed from the church's sound system, a shotgun microphone and ambient sound, and a separate recording dubbed in during editing. Determine with your videographer the technique best suited to your wedding location. Remember, not all locations are flexible about where the videographer may stand or set up an additional camera during the cer-emony. Be sure to go over the locations guidelines with the videographer.

Ask to view DVDs of actual weddings that were shot and produced within the past year. By watching these, you'll see first-hand the videographer's level of talent and profes-sionalism.

Look for sharp images, adequate lighting and clear sound. The video should flow smoothly from scene to scene, with highlights fully covered to tell the whole wedding story. Look for special effects, such as fades, wipes, dissolves, multiple images, freeze-frames and background music.

The videographer should dress appropri-ately, and you should feel comfortable having him mingle with your guests. Wedding videography prices range from several hundred dollars to the thousands. Find out what's included in the package deals, and if items such as duplicate DVDs, adding music and titles, special effects, overtime and second cameras are additional. Obtain a contract including date, time, location, cost, equipment used, editing time, deposits and delivery date.

It's so important to choose professionals to record your wedding celebration. The expense is well worth the future returns.

Preserving the memories of your nuptials is too important to leave to chance. Take care to ensure that your photographs and videos are of the quality you'll be proud to share with your family and friends. You'll enjoy your memories for many years to come.

Thank-You Notes

So many people will make your wedding-day dreams come true: your family, friends, co-workers and wedding professionals. What better way to single them out for their hard work than to send a heart-felt "thank you."

Choose formal thank-you note paper for both of you, since your groom will be writing many of the thank-yous. Your note paper may be engraved with your new address, in which case you could use it after the wedding. City and state names are printed out in full with no abbreviation. A street number may be spelled out or shown in  numerals. Stationery imprinted with your married name or initials is never used until after the wedding.

One final, important reminder to help your wedding run smoothly: make sure each piece mailed has sufficient postage. It would be terribly embarrassing if your invitations and thank-you notes were returned by the post office!

Intriguing Invitations

A wedding invitation peeking out of the mailbox is always a pleasant sight. Make sure your message expresses the warmth and happiness you wish to share with your guests.

As with every aspect of planning a wedding, traditional guidelines exist for wording, paper and engraving of wedding invitations and announce-ments. Many couples, however, come up with informal and creative variations.

A very formal wedding still commands the use of very proper wording engraved on thick, creamy paper. A less formal celebration might call for pastel ink on parchment.

THE GUEST LIST

After you've decided on a budget and the number of guests to invite, ask your fiancé and his family to make up their list. Let them know how many you hope they'll invite. Normally, each family invites half the guests. Another option: divide the guest list into three sections. The groom's family, the bride's family and the bridal couple each invite a third. As a rule of thumb, expect about three-fourths of those invited to attend.

Invitations should be sent to your wedding officiant and spouse, your fiance's immediate family, and members of your wedding party and their parents. You are not obligated to invite companions for single friends on your list.

If you do wish to invite the friend or fiancé of a single guest, ask for that person's name and address and send a separate invitation. If the couple lives together, mail a joint invitation, as you would for a married couple.

While drawing up your invitation list, put together your announcement list. This list should include acquaintances not invited to the wedding with whom you wish to share the good news. Neither an invitation nor announcement requires a gift - feel free to send them to everyone. Order 50 to 100 extra invitations and envelopes to allow for addressing mistakes.

PAPER AND PRINTING

While handwritten invitations are appropriate for a small ceremony - 50 guests or less - for a larger wedding, you'll want printed invitations.

A classic formal invitation is printed or engraved on the top page of a folded sheet of white or off-white paper. A small inner envelope, ungummed and unscaled, encloses the invitation or announcement. This is placed inside a larger envelope which is addressed and stamped.

Add a personal touch to your invitations using translucent or shiny paper, colored ink or a special border. If you select colored ink, use the same shade to address the envelopes. Select someone with beautiful handwriting, perhaps a professional calligrapher, to address envelopes or write invitations.

Order invitations and announcements at least three months before the wedding to allow time for printing, addressing and mailing. Engraving may take longer. Have the envelopes delivered early for addressing ahead of time.

ADDRESSING

Compose a master list on index cards; make sure all names and titles are spelled correctly. Address all invitations by hand, in blue, blue-black or black ink; never use a typewriter.

The only abbreviations used are Mr., Mrs., Ms., Je. and Dr. Most elected officials are addressed as The Honorable; the clergy as The Reverend Father, or Rabbi; and high-rank-ing military personnel as Commander, Colonel, etc. A single woman, even a child, is addressed as Miss or Ms. Young boys are addressed as Master. Try to avoid nicknames or initials. Spell out streets, cities and states in full, and don't forget zip codes.

If several members of a family are invited, avoid using the phrase "and family." You want each person to feel the invitation is meant especially for them. On the inner envelope, include the name of each child invited:

Mr. and Mrs. McBride 

Abigail and David

Adult members of a family should receive separate invitations, whether or not they live with their parents. Send one joint invitation to two brothers or two sisters living at the same address.

Invitations should be mailed 4 to 6 weeks before the ceremony. Two months is courteous if you plan to marry during the holidays.

Allow people time to consider your invitation and word their replies. Depending upon the formality of your invitation, they'll respond with formal written acceptances or regrets, informal notes, phone calls or response cards.

If you haven't had a response from a guest two weeks before the wedding, call and check. When each invitation is accounted for, tell your caterer how many guests to expect.

Formal announcements, created in the style of your invitation, should be mailed the day of the wedding or immediately afterward. Ask a bridesmaid or family member to do this if you don't have time.

KEEPING TRACK

As soon as your invitations are sent, you'll begin receiving calls and notes from guests. saying they can hardly wait. Promptly record who's coming, and who won't be able to attend. Allow space in your filing system to describe gifts received, and make a notation when a thank-you note is sent.

SPECIAL ENCLOSURES

Enclosures are printed in the same style as the invitation itself. At-home cards may be enclosed with formal invitations, but are usually sent with announcements. These are small cards informing everyone of your new address and the date you'll be ready to receive mail and visitors there.

Ceremony cards are sent if there's a chance that uninvited persons may try to attend, or if the wedding is held in a public or historic place. Engraved cards may be enclosed with the invitations, to be presented at the door for admittance. For other types of enclosures you may wish to ask your printer, stationery or wedding consultant.

WEDDING PROGRAMS

A program is extremely helpful in guiding your guests through the ceremony and is a wonderful memento of your wedding. It provides vital information and might be an elaborate booklet, a calligraphy-inscribed scroll, or a preprinted wedding bulletin with your wedding service photocopied inside.

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Normally, announcements are not mailed to anyone who has been invited to the wedding. But they may go out after an intimate ceremony for family only, after an elopement, or a wedding so far away that many people could not attend. Business associates with whom the couple work day to day might also receive announcements. (Remember, no one receiving an announcement need feel obligated to send a gift.)

Printing and paper for the announcements are the same as for invitations. Announcements should be addressed like invitations and, whenever possible, mailed out immediately after the ceremony.

Wedding Emergency Kit

Since the strangest things always happen at the most inappropriate times, here’s a little help in diverting those crises and keeping the day running smoothly. 

• By Charlotte Ann Moore

SCENARIO: IT'S THE FINAL MINUTES doctore your walk down the aisle. Your maid of hongs entrance. As she turns away, you are both horrified by Eives you one last, quick hug before she makes her the sound of her pantihose ripping.

Scenario: You and your groom anticipated a romantic, enchanting spring ceremony. What you didn't anticipate was your wedding day coinciding with the highest pollen count of the season.

Weddings are always full of surprises. Most of them are pleasant; however, the strangest things have a way of happening when you are the least prepared. Pack these items in a carry-on bag labeled “Wedding Emergency Kit” and keep it handy on your wedding day. You never know what disaster you’ll be averting!

• Non-allergic makeup remover

• Makeup / eye shadow / mascara

• Hair products: gel, hair spray, combs, pins

• Tampons / pads / painkillers

• Facial tissue

• Cold/allergy tablets

• Travel-size sewing kit (including an assortment of safety pins)

• Pantihose / dark socks (for groom and groomsmen)

• Nail glue / polish / remover / file

• Earring backs

• Toothpaste/ mouthwash / breath mints (the small kind)

• Cotton balls / swabs

• Antacid tablets

• Deodorant / body powder

• Cologne / after-shave / bodv lotion

• Instant glue / mini-stapler

• Extra car keys!

Exceptional Receptions

NO MATTER HOW INFORMAL THE PARTY, there's more to planning your reception and rehearsal dinner than just the menu. Plan an event they won't soon forget. As you dig through these pages, you will be inspired.

Planning the big party - your wedding reception can seem overwhelming, but never fear. Start with the basic guidelines, and let your creative juices flow.

Your reception could include a formal sit-down dinner or an authentic Texas barbeque. Have the party at a first-class hotel, or take your guests on a riverboat cruise. Hire a disc jockey or a 30-piece orchestra for your dancing pleasure. The choices are unlimited - you can fashion the festivities to fit your personality and your budget.

Popular locations for receptions include hotels, restaurants and private clubs. These party places can often provide the complete facilities and food services you require. Other options to consider: private homes, church halls, fraternal organizations, park pavilions and art galleries. If your reception site doesn't offer all the services you need, find a competent wedding consultant, caterer or party rental store that can provide food, equipment and staffing.

It's important to be well-informed when you plan your reception. In order to negotiate with caterers, hoteliers, entertainers, and the like, you'll need to provide them with some basic information. Essential data includes the date of the event, how many guests you expect, your budget range, and the reception style you're planning.

After you've told your story, find out what you need to know:

• What's the facility rental fee?

• What's included in the cost?

• How many guests can the space accommodate (including table and chair availability)?

• How long does the fee reserve the space, and what are the overtime charges?

• What time can set-up begin?

• What time must the space be vacated?

• Who's responsible for cleanup?

• How far in advance must reservations be made?

• Are parking, restroom and changing room facilities adequate?

• Are air, heating and electrical (outlet) systems adequate?

• Is the dance floor adequate?

• Can you review staging, lighting, audio and video needs?

• Is there a public address system or microphone available?

• Is it necessary to use in-house catering; if so, will beverages and hors d'oeuvres be served before dinner?

• Are security guards, coat check, parking atten-dants, bartenders and similar services provided

• How much is the deposit; when is it due; when is the remainder due?

• What is the cancellation policy and is their liability insurance adequate?

• Is there a security deposit; if so, when will it be refunded?

• Are there special rules and regulations that may affect the party?

It's important to plan at least nine months in advance. Book your reception site as soon as you set the big date. If your location is in demand, you may have to set the wedding date around its availability.

If an outdoor wedding and reception is on your agenda, consider the possibility of inclement weather. Rent a tent or arrange for a back-up inside site - you don't want your party called off because of rain!

Now that you know how to book your reception, you may have questions about what goes on at this once-in-a-lifetime event. Read on for details about the order of activities at the reception, and other guidelines to follow when planning your festivities

Reception Styles

The time and formality of your wedding determines what kind of reception will follow. 

Early Morning 

Breakfast gathering at a local restaurant. It's unnecessary to serve alcoholic beverages at this early hour.

Afternoon (2 p.m. to 5 p.m.)

Afternoon tea; serve coffee, tea or punch with light hors d'oeuvres.

Late Afternoon (4 p.m. to 6 p.m.)

Cocktail party; feature 11 to 12 varieties of hot and cold hors d'oeuvres. Alcoholic beverages are served - an open bar is usually provided.

Evening

Serve a full meal; a cocktail hour often precedes dinner. Anything from a buffet to a sit-down meal is appropriate.

Reception Timetable

Here is a basic guide to the timeframe of a typical wedding reception.

Upon Arrival At Reception Site

Bridal party forms the receiving line. Guests pass through into the reception area where drinks and hors d'oeuvres are waiting.

After 1 Hour

Buffet or dinner is served; the best man starts the toasting by offering the first good wishes to the bride and groom.

After 1 1/2 Hours

The first course is cleared from the head table; the first dance begins. Guests then join in the dancing.

After 2 Hours

Tables are cleared of food; it's time to cut the cake!

The Last Half Hour

The bouquet and garter are thrown; the grand march (optional) takes place. The bride and groom bid farewell to their guests.

Receiving Line

The receiving line allows parents and principals to greet guests and receive their good wishes. The line usually begins just inside the reception site; it may also be held at the church immediately following the wedding ceremony.

A church reception line is appropriate when not all guests are invited to the reception.

An alternative way to greet guests at the church: the bride and groom re-enter after the recessional, greeting guests as they file out. This method is appropriate if the gathering is not too large, and eliminates awkwardness if parents are divorced or don't wish to participate in a formal receiving line.

In a traditional receiving line, the mother of the bride, as hostess, is first to greet guests. Following her are the groom's mother, the bride, the groom, and maid of honor. Fathers of the bride and groom, the best man, bridesmaids and groomsmen may also be included. Children in the wedding party do not stand in the receiving line.

Make sure guests sign your guest book before they enter the receiving line. Place an attendant near the book to remind them to sign. Guests should move quickly down the line, saving conversation for later, as the bride and groom visit each table. After all guests have arrived, the line dis-perses. The bridal couple takes their place at the head table.

Some couples elect to eliminate the receiving line, circulating with their guests throughout the reception instead.

Seating Arrangements

Place cards should be set at the head table and honor tables to avoid confusion and embarrassment. The caterer or maid of honor places the cards before the reception. At the rest of the tables, allow guests to choose their own seats.

The head table showcases the bride and groom, who sit in full view, facing the guests. The best man flanks the bride, while the maid of honor is seated next to the groom. Bridesmaids and groomsmen are seated, alternating males and females.

At a small wedding, the parents of the bride and groom may sit at the head table, as well as the officiating clergy and spouses of married attendants. Otherwise, there is a separate honors table, with the bride's parents at opposite ends. The groom's father sits to the right of the bride's moth-er; the wedding officiant to her left. The groom's mother sits to the right of the bride's father, the wedding officiant's spouse to his left.

You may also arrange two parents' tables, with the bride's parents at one, while the groom's mother and father head the other. In this arrangement, more friends and relatives may be given a seat of honor at these tables.

Divorced parents should be seated at separate tables, among their own friends and family. Seat the groom's parents with the family that raised the bride. The bride and groom will divide their time between each group.

Cutting the Cake

The cutting of the wedding cake is a charming ritual, and the highlight of the reception. Guests are signaled by the best man tapping his glass, or a burst of fanfare from the band. Using a silver knife with a beribboned handle, the bride, the groom's hand placed over hers, cuts the first slice.

He offers her a bite, and she presents a piece for him to sample, symbolizing their willingness to share their lives. The rest of the cake is sliced by an attendant and served as dessert.

It's an extra treat to have a groom's cake - usually a chocolate cake - contrasting with the white, elaborately iced wedding cake. The groom's cake may also be served for dessert, or packed in small white boxes for guests to take home as a memento.

Dancing

If a reception features a buffet, the bride and groom may dance their first dance as soon as they've recovered from the rigors of the receiving line. When a full meal is served, dancing begins after the last course is cleared.

After the newlyweds begin the first dance, others may join in as follows:

Second Couple

The bride's father cuts in and dances with his daughter.

Third Couple

The groom asks the mother of the bride to dance.

Fourth Couple

The groom's father dances with the bride.

Fifth Couple

The father of the bride cuts in on the groom and dances with the bride's mother.

Sixth Couple

The groom dances with his mother.

None of the first couples must dance a full dance. After a few minutes, other guests are invited to join in the dancing. Ethnic dancing may be featured, or have fun with the dollar dance - guests pay the bride and groom a dollar for a dance. A grand march may also be formed well into the reception.

As the activities end, a second receiving line is formed beside a small table filled with cake boxes, cigars or a last drink for the guests as they depart. This gives guests a chance to say goodbye to the newlyweds, who then have a last dance and prepare to depart on their honeymoon.

Tossing the Bouquet and Garter

The bouquet and garter are usually tossed before the bride and groom change into their travel clothes. The best man and the maid of honor gather the single men and women in a semicircle. The bride tosses the bouquet over her shoulder - the lucky girl who catches it is supposedly the next to be married. The groom tosses the bride's garter into the crowd of bachelors; the recipient, according to the myth, will become the next bridegroom.

Leaving the Reception

After the bouquet and garter ceremony, the bride and groom change clothes and bid a private farewell to their parents. In a shower of rice, birdseed or rose petals, the happy couple heads for their car, which has probably been skillfully decorated by the ushers. The newlyweds are off on their honeymoon, ready to start their new life together.

Catering Connection: Food for Thought

Wining and dining your wedding guests takes the largest bite out of your wedding budget. A well-planned reception is crucial to the success of your marriage cele-bration. Choose your caterer with care - a talented, well-organized culinary artist can create a fabulous feast you'll never forget.

If you've chosen a hotel or restaurant for your reception site, they'll probably provide their own food and beverage services. If you've chosen a different type of facility - church hall, park pavilion, etc. - you'll need to arrange for catering.

Book catering services well in advance; six to nine months before the wedding is ideal. Give your caterer the pertinent data - date and time, place, reception style, budget and the number of guests attending. For food ser-vice, most caterers charge a flat fee per person; liquor costs are usually by the bottle or per drink. Waiters may be paid by the hour.

Your caterer can help you determine the kind of food to serve, and provide dishware, ice, glasses, etc. He or she can usually arrange for servers, bartenders and valet parking services as well. Be sure charges for these services are included in your cost estimate. Check to see if gratuities are automatically added to the final bill.

Your contract should specify the food and beverages to be served and the guest count. Look into postponement and cancellation policies before you sign. A deposit is usually required when you sign the contract.

By all means, comparison shop - it's important to get the most for your money. Just make sure the caterer you choose has a reputation for quality and service - the success of your reception depends on it!

I’ll Drink to That: The Tradition of Toasts

No matter how informal the party may be - it's traditional to toast the bride and groom at their wedding reception. The festive air that toasting lends to pre- or post-wed-ding celebrations creates a feeling of shared good will for everyone present. Toasts are a tribute to the bridal couple and the wedding party.

Champagne is usually used for toasting - the bubbly brew is synonymous with romance and gaiety. If alcohol is not a part of this party, well wishers can toast with sparkling cider or ginger ale.

Toasting can begin after the receiving line breaks up, and can be made all throughout the reception. At a less formal function, toasts are presented just before the cutting of the cake

The best man acts as master of ceremonies, offering the first toast. This toast may be just for the bride, or aimed at both newlyweds. The best man gets everyone's attention by clinking on his glass. He may introduce himself and others in the wedding party, and explain his relationship to the newly-weds. At this time he may tell an amusing anecdote about the bridal couple, making a wish for their future happiness.

The toast may be in the form of a poem, quotation or the like - it should be brief and sincere. Those offering toasts should plan what they wish to say ahead of time. It's important to speak loudly and clearly when making the toast - everyone wants to hear this!

After the best man's tribute, the groom usually responds with toasts honoring his wife, parents and new in-laws. The bride may then rise to offer toasts to her husband, the couple's families, attendants and guests. (A special thank-you is expressed particularly well in the form of a toast.) The fathers of the bride and groom may propose toasts to their new son and daughter, and other members of the wedding party may then offer their own toasts.

When you're the object of a toast, remain seated, and don't sip from your glass - you're allowed to imbibe between toasts. Smile and nod at whoever is offering the toast.

The tradition of toasting is one to treasure - long after your wedding day, you'll look back and smile when you think of those special words: the funny stories the best man told about you; the love your parents expressed as they welcomed your spouse into the family.

Above all, remember the tide of good wishes from all those present as they raised their glasses and drank to your happiness during every toast that was made

Toasts with the Most

Best Man To Couple

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, I shall ask you to rise." Give guests adequate time to respond. If they are already standing, say "I now ask you to raise your glasses." Turning to the couple, say: "May your wedding day be the threshold of a wonderful future of sharing as you walk together through life, hand in hand. To Jane and John."

Groom To Bride

"Here's to the prettiest, here's to the wittiest, here's to the truest one of all who are true, here's to the neatest one, here's to the sweetest one, here's to them all in one here's to you.”

Bride To Groom

"I wonder if you realize how much you mean to me, how wonderful you've been, how dear you'll always be. You've brought such love and happiness into my life. No wonder I'm so thankful and so proud to be your wife. To John!"

Bride's Father To Couple

"To Jane and John. May your lives be full of the kind of happiness we are enjoying here today."

Bride To Parents

"To my new family, with thanks for raising such a loving and supportive person, and to my parents, for all the love and strength they've given me. May we all have many, many more memorable days together."

Beautiful Brides

Look your best! Feel your best! It’s the most important day for your looks. Learn how to “wow” him while feeling your very best.

On the morning of the day of your wedding, you'll wake up knowing that the cake will be delivered on time, that the reception hall will be completely decorated and waiting for your arrival, and that your dress will fit you perfectly. And you'll be confident that you'll look radiant and feel wonderful because professional makeup and hair artists will spend the time to soothe your nerves by accentuating all of your best features.

Several types of makeup artists and hair stylists are out there, and to be sure you choose the right types for you, you'll need to know a bit about them first.

Makeup Artistry

Professional makeup artists have experience with all skin types and colorings, face shapes, and hair shapes. A licensed esthetician is one who has studied skin and skin care, has hours of training, is skilled in the sterilization process (to eliminate cross-contamination from tools), and has much practice and work experience with actual people. These exceptional artists have the talent and training to camouflage any scars or blemishes and to bring out your best facial features.

You may wonder why you need a professional to do something for you that you do for yourself almost every day. After all, you can do your makeup just fine for everyday wear, and sometimes even for special occasions. But consider this: what will you remember the most - how you know you looked on your wedding day, or how you looked in your photographs from your wedding day? Trained makeup artists know how to make you look good, not only in person, but for photography, such as those endearing wedding photographs. Makeup for photography is a learned skill and one most women don't have.

In planning what you want to look like, don't forget your eyebrows! They can make all the difference in a polished look. If your brows look good and are shaped to complement your eyes, your whole face will look more finished.

Have a professional do this. as often women tweeze too many hairs out of their brows and come away with having to resort to pencil lines.

Hair Artistry

Many, many things can go wrong when people try to not only style their own hair, but also use harsh chemicals at home, trying to "look like the woman on the box." A trained colorist has the chemistry knowledge to change the color of your hair slightly or altogether differently, while still making it look as natural as if you were born with it. Some eager people even try perming or straightening their own hair at home, and some of these people have horror stories to tell. Rather than becoming a casualty, hire a professional to design the look that's right for you and your hair.

If you're one of the lucky women who has long, healthy hair, there are countless ways your hair can be styled. Be sure the hair artist in which you are interested has experience with long hair, whether you just want it styled or want a chemical process. It behaves nothing like short hair, and if you mess it up at home, it just takes that much longer to grow it back out to the same length again.

Scheduling

About six months before your wedding you'll want to start a skin-care program designed especially for you - and stick with it! During stressful times your skin can do all sorts of panicking on its own, so if you start being good to it you shouldn’t have as many problems when that special day arrives. Licensed estheticians can help devise such a regimen with you and can lead the way to healthy skin.

If you are considering changing the look of your hair, whether it be the cut, style, color or texture, now is the time to book those appoint-ments, too, so the person working on your hair can have the time to perfect your new look before the last minute.

It is wise to choose your hair and makeup artists early so that you'll be working with the same people throughout the whole process; firstly because they will become familiar with your skin and hair, and secondly, when you look back at the photographs you will be looking at your wedding as an event, rather than something occurring over a few months, and you'll want to have the same look in all of them. Be sure to make all the necessary appointments to lead up to your wedding day. And don't forget to include the appointments for that day, too! Some artists work only in their own studios, others will go on-loca-tion and meet you where you need to be. Make sure you confirm all of your plans with everyone involved.

Once it gets closer to your wedding date, about 3-4 months prior to your wedding or when your tailored gown arrives, you'll be having your bridal portrait taken. Make sure you confirm how long it will take for hair and makeup so you won't be rushed trying to make the photographer's appointment. Another good tip is to book a "trial run" appointment with both the makeup and hair people before your portrait day so they can decide how to make you look your best without your trying to race out the door. Be sure to bring your headpiece to all appointments so they can work around it.

About a month before the big day is the time to have any processes done to your hair that you are needing. You may think that this is too early, but in actuality, it is the prime time to have these processes done, so your hair will have a chance to get reconditioned and healthier after-ward. Have all of your hair touch-ups done about a week before the wedding

When that day finally arrives and you wake up in the morning, you can be assured that everything - absolutely everything - has been taken care of for you, and there isn't a single thing for you to worry about. Your skin and hair will be planned for, just as you planned everything else. Good skin care, makeup applied by a professional, and hair styled to perfection will not only help you look your very best, but will help ease that last-minute stress. After all, a relaxed bride is a beautiful bride. So enjoy a nice breakfast and get ready for the time of your life!

Attendants’ Attire

Now that you're taken care of, it's time to dress the rest of your bridal party.

• Ask for help. Enlist the aid of your maid of honor or another friend, and choose styles and colors that flatter the face and figure of each attendant. As bridesmaids usually pay for their own dresses, shop conservatively. Carefully coordinate shoes, stockings and accessories to achieve a balanced look.

• Be selective. Be just as careful in selecting attire for the groom and his attendants. Men's wedding clothing is usually rented place your order six to eight weeks before the wedding.

• Tux tips. The groom may dress differently from his attendants, or wear the same tux as the other men. He might consider wearing a bow tie and cummerbund in a contrasting color or pattern from the others. The men's attire should complement the bridal gown. Choose tuxedos appropriate to the style of your wedding.

• Proper fit. Men have different builds, so shop accordingly. Your formal wear professional can offer great advice on which styles are appropriate, and properly fit the tuxedo you choose.

Attention to detail is a must if you want a perfect wedding. Look around a lot, get some expert advice, and enjoy this shopping adventure. It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience!

Wedding Wear

You may already have a mental picture of the look you want on your wedding day. It's your job to choose the gown that makes fantasy a reality. But with all the styles, colors and fabrics around, finding the perfect dress may seem like "mission impossible!" Don't despair. By following a few basic guidelines, you'll find the look that suits your unique style.

You'll need to order your gown and veil six to nine months before the wedding. Make an appointment with a reputable bridal salon, and let the consultant know what type of wedding you're planning before you arrive. Take along a friend or relative whose honesty and good taste you can count on - you'll need an objective opinion. Bring your checkbook - a 50% deposit is customary when placing an order.

Choose a gown that makes the most of your figure. Princess or A-line styles are slimming and create the illusion of height. A full skirt hides heavy legs and hips. Dropped waist styles flatter most figure types. A decorative bodice highlights the upper body, while a simpler style minimizes a heavy bust. There are many fabrics and shades to choose from - find the textures and hues that flatter your complexion.

Choose a veil that's appropriate to the style of your wedding. And remember, your back gets lots of attention during the ceremony - your dress, veil and train should look elegant from that angle.

Check out store policy on alterations, and make sure there's a good seamstress on hand.

Examine the workmanship on the dress itself - all buttons and trim should be handsewn, not glued.

At dress fittings, wear the same heel height and type of undergarments you'll wear on your wedding day. When shopping for veils and headpieces, style your hair as you'll wear it at the ceremony. Every detail is important to the creation of a stunning package!

The Shape of Things to Come?

Could your diamond shape predict your future happiness?

"Choosing a diamond engagement ring is a heartfelt decision and the shape you prefer can be deeply revealing," says Jewelers of America, the national organization dedicated to providing consumers with information about fine jewelry.

The Book Diamonds, Love and Compatibility by gemologist Saul Spero claims that your diamond reveals much more than marital status. When shopping with your mate, pay attention to the diamond shape each of you prefers. Pick your top three favorite shapes and see if they reflect your personality:

Round

People who are drawn to round cut diamonds are also drawn to the warmth of the hearth of a cozy home. Your family is a top priority as you eagerly anticipate all the comforts and joys of marriage and motherhood. You enjoy being the reliable "rock" and are easygoing and empathic.

Pear

Although your home is the center of your world, you also have an adventurous streak and you enjoy social climbing as much as mountain climbing. You take pride in being a solid citizen and take an active part in your community. You love people and are usually open to widening your circle of friends and acquaintances.

Marquise

The pointed oval is the pick of an aggressive, experimental fiancee. Your charm, sex appeal and fiery temperament make you a real wild card. If your bride-to-be chooses this ring, you best be sure to be on your toes at all times with her. Your mate will add spice to your life with their outgoing and impulsive natures. People who are drawn to this diamond shape have lots of energy for demanding careers and other challenging endeavors. Your mate must find a way to keep up!

Emerald (rectangle)

Disciplined people who crave order are drawn to this cut. They are agile leaders, but can be a trifle rigid at times. They expect equality. These people are honest and expect to be treated likewise.

Oval

You have near to no rough edges, you smoothy you! Favored by individualistic, well-organized, disciplined folks, oval lovers are fun-loving and creative, yet down to earth. You're at your best when you’re using your artistic talents and have a unique style.

Heart

The most hopeless romantics in the works choose the heart-shaped diamond. It is the choice of highly emotional types who use their feelings to ignite creative energy. They are prone to be too dependent on their beloved, however. Women who choose this stone are usually very feminine, and they must be romanced tenderly.

Whatever your preference, your diamond is still the symbol of your loving commitment, and your local jeweler will have a wide assortment from which you can select the one that suits your individual personality perfectly.

With this Ring

A wedding ring is an endless circle that traditionally represents the love that you, the bride and groom, have for each other. It is wise to make a careful selection of these immortal tokens of love.

Since you are unique, your wedding rings should portray your uniqueness. Choosing or designing your rings can be one of the most pleasurable experiences of your engagement. The variety of styles is endless. Many couples prefer to visit the jeweler together to learn about each others' style preferences. Your jeweler can advise you on the style and design most becoming to your lifestyle and tastes.

Decide if you prefer a single wedding band, a wedding ring with a matching engagement ring, or an engagement ring with guard rings. Other decisions that will need to be made are what type, size and shape of gem you prefer; whether or not you would like smaller diamonds on your band to accentuate your main stone; and if you would like your fiance's ring to match.

After you have searched for the ultimate rings and have found them, congratulations!

If you cannot find the perfect rings for you, then commission your jeweler to custom design and create an original set of wedding rings for you. A custom jeweler can create magic by simply learning your preferences and designing your rings according to your liking. The jeweler will then hand carve and create your perfect rings.

Diamonds are an important part of engagement and wedding rings. You need to know a few basic facts and standards for diamonds. The most widely accepted diamond grading standards were established by the Gemological Institute of America (GIA), and the basic concepts can be mastered by you with the help of your jeweler. Diamond grading is divided into the Four Cs: Carat, Cut, Clarity, and Color.

Carat refers to the weight of a diamond. One carat weight is divided into 100 points of weight. A 25-point diamond can be referred to as a stone that weighs 0.25 carats. Size is determined by the weight and is also a factor in the price of a diamond because the larger the dia-mond, and the heavier it is, the more rare the stone, and the more valuable it becomes.

Cut refers to the make and shape of your dia-mond. The make is the faceting or cutting of the diamond surface. Most round diamonds have 58 facets. A good cut, or make, allows for the maximum light reflection throughout the diamond. Some diamonds are cut shallow, some deep, while the superbly cut diamond achieves the most brilliance.

The shape of the diamond is also a part of the cut. The most common shapes include the round brilliant, marquis, pear, oval, heart, emer-ald, and baguette. Diamond shapes are not limited to these. Diamonds have been cut in the design of stars, flowers, tree, and even the shape of Texas.

Clarity refers to the ability to see through a diamond, which is affected by internal identifying characteristics of flaws formed in nature in the diamond. The fewer and less visible the flaws, known as inclusions, the better and more valuable the diamond becomes. Diamonds are graded on 10X magnification under a microscope or jewler;s loupe, with good lighting. It is important to examine your major diamond purchase under a microscope so that you can see the flaws, their sizes, and locations.

Overall, the fewer the inclusions, the more brilliant and valuable the diamond.

Alternatives to Diamonds

Another idea to consider when discussing your rings is the use of alternative stones instead of a diamond. The main reason that diamonds are the choice of most couples can be attributed to the fact that diamonds are the hardest stone known to man, thus they are better able to withstand the stress of daily wear. A myth exists about diamonds that they cannot be chipped nor can they break. But beware ... it is a myth. A diamond, like all gemstones, must be properly cared for by you.

On a regular basis, preferably at least once every six months, ask your jeweler to clean and inspect your rings and stones so that you can maintain their glowing beauty. In between your visits to your jeweler, it does help to clean your wedding rings as often as you wish. Your jeweler can advise you as to the best way to clean your rings at home. The cleaner your rings are, the more they sparkle, and the more your friends will notice them.

Colored gemstones, such as ruby and sapphire, have also been used throughout history as a wedding ring center stone or as an enhancement to the center diamond. For example, you may choose an intense blue sapphire as your center stone and encircle it with smaller diamonds.

After you receive your rings from your jeweler, you should check with your insurance agent as to how to insure your rings on your insurance policy. Inquire about an all-risk policy to fully insure your rings. Your insurance agent can give explanations and suggestions as to the best protection for you.

Other Wedding Jewelry

Your jeweler can assist you with other wedding jewelry, such as cultured pearls. This is a traditional wedding gift given by the groom to the bride to wear with her wedding gown. Pearls are an elegant jewelry gift and may be enjoyed for many occasions.

The bride may appropriately choose a set of cufflinks or button covers as her gift to her groom to wear with his formal attire at the wedding and for future occasions. Your jeweler can guide you in making your choices.

Check with your jeweler for bridesmaids' and groomsmen's gift ideas and give a gift that will remind them of the special day they will share with you.

Choosing your wedding and engagement rings can be fun and exciting! With the professional guidance of your jeweler, your wedding rings will become cherished reminders of the love you share.

Tips for Tipping

Caterer, hotel or club banquet manager, bridal consultant. 15-20% if not covered in fee. Reception hosts pay bill on receipt. Add any special tip to payment after reception.

• Waiters, waitresses, bartenders, table servers. 15-20% of bill - given to the captain or maitre d’ of the hotel to distribute to the rest of staff. If included, reception hosts pay tips with bill. If not, right after the reception.

• Powder room, coat room attendants in hotels or clubs. 5$1 per guest, or arrange a flat fee with hotel or club management. If a flat fee, reception hosts pay tips with bill. If not, right after the reception.

• Florist, photographer, baker, musicians, limousine driver. 15% for driver, others tipped only for extra special service up to 15%. Ceremony hosts tip driver at reception site. Add other tips to bill payments.

• Civil members who perform the ceremony. Groom gives donation to best man who pays after ceremony.

• Ceremony assistants. Sometimes covered by church fee - ask clergy member what’s customary. Ceremony hosts pay church fees when billed; separate fees and tips after service.

• Custodians or kitchen help if reception is in church. Ask church secretary. Ceremony hosts pay when billed or after service.

Financial Matters

Dreaming about the perfect wedding is one thing - actually paying for it is another. Establish a realistic budget up front, and you’ll be able to create an affordable fantasy.

You are in love - it's the real thing. Now that you've found your partner in life, you want to share your happiness with everyone. You want your wedding celebration to be the talk of the town - the biggest and best ever.

Before your fantasies get ahead of your checkbook, ask yourself: who's paying for this wedding, and how much can you afford to spend?

Traditionally, the bride's parents paid the majority of the wedding costs. Back in the old days, the groom assumed full financial responsibility for his bride after they rode off into the sunset. He didn't have to chip in much for the wedding - he paid his share later.

It's a different story now. Both partners in a modern marriage tend to go back to work after the honeymoon, and these newlyweds have a bit more financial independence. It seems only natural for both families to contribute to the wedding celebration.

Decide the kind of wedding you'd like. Discuss your plans with those contributing to the cost, and determine a budget. Make everyone's financial limitations clear at this point - it will prevent hard feelings later.

Some ballpark figures to work with: expect a semi formal ceremony to cost between $6,000 and $7,500. A formal wedding ranges from $10,000 to $15,000, while and ultra formal ceremony can run $40,000 or more.

The largest single expense you're faced with is the reception. Festivities at private clubs and four-star restaurants are pricier than those held in the church fellowship hall. Check rates at several types of reception sites. - you will find one within your budget.

Many facilities offer excellent package deals. You'll find everything completely organized, from tea and sandwiches at the church to a formal sit-down dinner complete with orchestra. Purchasing services separately is a lot of work! Many couples opt for at least a partial package - it saves time and energy.

Costs for the reception room itself vary.

Prices range from free to several hundred dollars per hour. Professional planners suggest the reception last from 3 to 31/2 hours. Any shorter, and people who've traveled from afar may feel cheated. Any longer, and guests tend to break up into cliques.

Whether or not to serve a meal - that depends on your finances and what is expected in your community. Many ethnic and religious cultures traditionally celebrate with a hearty meal. If many of your guests have traveled a long distance, it's hospitable to feed them.

If you plan your wedding during mealtimes, you are expected to provide sustenance. If this creates a fiscal panic, change your reception style, or invite fewer guests. One workable option - plan a large reception with light refreshments, then ask close family, friends and out-of-town guests to your parents' house for a buffet dinner.

Food and beverage costs vary greatly. A hot cocktail buffet may run from $8 to $40 per per-son. Buffet dinners range from $15 to $40 per guest; a sit-down diner, $25 to $60 per person.

Caterers' estimates usually include the cost of beverages, but do make sure. Some caterers include champagne and beer and wine, but charge extra for mixed drinks at an open bar.

You may pay for drinks individually, or include the libations in the caterer's package. Most professionals offer reasonable prices - they get it wholesale.

With careful planning and a lot of investigating, you and your family can host the wedding you've always wanted - without ruining your budget. And you can go on dreaming about how special your wedding day will be.

Members of The Wedding

Bride and Groom

• Decide budget and wedding plans.

• Choose wedding party attendant. The bride helps her attendants in dress selection and the groom discusses appropriate attire with his best man and groomsmen.

• Purchase small gifts for their attendants.

• Acknowledge receipt of wedding gifts with a personal note of appreciation.

Bride

• Discusses budget with fiance and parents.

• Sets dates, time and place of wedding and reception.

• Selects wedding dress and accessories, allowing a minimum of 3 months for delivery.

• Books caterer, wedding and reception entertainment, florist and photographers, videographer and bakery.

• Helps compile the guest list; chooses her attendants.

• Orders invitations, thank-you notes and personal stationary.

• Shops for trousseau.

• Buys groom’s wedding band and arranges for engraving.

Groom

• Discusses budget with fiance and parents.

• Buys bride’s wedding band and arranges for engraving.

• Gets the marriage license and obtains any other necessary legal documents.

• Pays for and arranges honeymoon. Checks on available hotels for out-of-town guests.

• Pays for bride’s bouquet, going-away corsage, and corsages for both mothers and close female relatives on both sides.

• Supplies boutonnieres for himself and male attendants.

Maid/Matron of Honor

Usually someone very close to the bride: her sister or a dear friend or relative

• Assists the bride in any way she can: helping plan the wedding, shopping, addressing invitations, taking charge of recording and displaying wedding gifts.

• Lends the bride moral support.

• Attends rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

• Pays for her own gown and accessories (not including flowers).

• Supervises bridesmaids. Helps prepare them for their wedding day duties and organizes their fittings. Makes sure they arrive at the ceremony on time, confirms transportation arrangements.

• Helps bride get ready before the ceremony and before departure from the reception.

• Holds the groom’s ring during the ceremony until time to pass it to the bride.

• Holds bride’s bouquet and arranges bridel veil and dress during the ceremony.

• Is usually one of the two witnesses signing the marriage certificate.

• Stands to the left of the groom in the receiving line, sits to the left of the groom at the honor table.

Best Man

Usually the groom’s best friend, brother, father or other close relative.

• Assists the groom in any way he can.

• Pays for his own wedding attire.

• Oversees the ushers, making sure they are outfitted correctly and understand their duties.

• Attends rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

• Holds bride’s wedding ring, producing it at the proper time in the ceremony.

• Makes sure ceremony officiant is paid.

• Sits to the right of the bride at the honor table; offers the first toast to the newlyweds; reads congratulatory messages.

• Helps newlyweds prepare for the honeymoon departure. Assists groom into his going-away clothes, takes care of luggage, makes sure car is ready to go - hands over keys to groom or makes sure limousine is ready and sees that the groom has travel documents in order.

• Makes sure that all men’s rental clothes are returned the first business day after the wedding.

Bridesmaid

• A bridesmaid has no particular pre-wedding responsibilities, but might offer to help the bride in any way she can.

• Pays for and assembles her wedding outfit.

• Attends rehersal and rehearsal dinner. Walks in the processional and recessional.

• May strand in the receiving line.

Junior Bridesmaid

• Wears a dress similar to that of a bridesmaid, but in a simpler style.

• Participates in the processional (recessional participation is optional).

Usher/Groomsman

• Provides own wedding clothes (boutonnieres provided by the groom). 

• Seats guests at the church as they arrive - offers his right arm to each woman. Asks if they are friends of the bride or groom and seats them accordingly. Bride’s guests are seated to the left, the groom’s to the right; order is reversed in Jewish services. When one side has more guests than the other, the usher may begin seating guests on the side with fewer people.

• Decorates the couple’s going away car.

Flower Girl

Usually a young girl between 4 and 10.

• Carries a basket of posies, tiny nosegay or a basket of loose rose petals to strew in the bride’s path.

Ring Bearer

Usually a young boy between 4 and 10.

• During the ceremony, he carries a white satin pillow with a fake ring tied or swen on. After the ceremony, the pillow is turned upside down so the dummy ring won’t show.

Candlelighter

• In some parts of the country candlelighters participate in the wedding. Usually two boys, 9 to 14 years old, walk forward to light the candles at the altar just before the bride’s mother is seated. 

Children should attend rehearsal to practicer their parts, although they do not normally attend any pre-weddig parties. After walking down the aisle, they might quietly slip into their parent’s peew to avoid disrupting the ceremony with fidgeting. They need not participate in the recessional. 

Mother Of The Bride

Usually acts as hostess of the reception. 

• Helps the bride compile the guest list, arrange details of the ceremony and reception and may help her select her wedding outfit and trousseau.

• Keeps the bride’s father and groom’s parents informed about the wedding plans.

• Is accorded special honor at the wedding service and is seated last, just a few minutes before the wedding begins.

• Greets guests at the head of the reception line. Sits in place of honor at the parent’s table.

• Makes sure guests are having a good time and is on hand to bid them goodbye.

Father Of The Bride

• Rides to the ceremony with the bride; chauffeured transportation suggested.

• Escorts the bride down the aisle, then joins his wife in the front row.

• As official host of the reception, he mingles with guests (he may or may not join the receiving line).

• Keeps an eye on the bar and the champagne supply.

• Makes a short toast at the reception.

• Is the last person to leave the reception and say goodbye to the guests.

• Traditionally pays for the majority of the wedding. It is now appropriate for other financial arrangements to be made.

Musical Notes

OH, HOW YOU’LL DANCE, on the night you are wed… Music sets the mood for your personal celebration - from the first note of the processional to the last dance at your reception.

AT COUNTLESS WEDDING CEREMONIES, Wagner’s “The Bridal Chorus” from Lohengrin (“Here Comes The Bride”) is the processional song of choice. Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March” from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” is often played during the recessional. It’s traditional right?

Not always. Those matrimonial melodies are considered to be too secular by many churches - you might not be allowed to play those traditional tunes as you walk down the aisle. If you’re planning a religious ceremony, consult your clergy on appropriate music selections.

The type of music played at your wedding is a matter of personal choice. While there may be some restrictions due to religious considerations, there is an abundance of music appropriate to any style of ceremony. Enlist the aid of your church organist, clergy, choir director or bridal coordinator in making musical decisions.

Your ceremony might feature an organist, pianist, harpist, string or woodwind quartet, or vocal performer. The musical program should begin 15 to 30 minutes before the ceremony, as guests arrive.

At the rehearsal, you may want to spend a little time practicing walking to the music you have chosen. Wedding music is highly emotional, and many brides have cried their way to the altar because of the sudden effect music has had on them. It might also be a good idea to tell your father you need to practice walking on his arm to the music; this will give him a chance to get used to it, too. Elaborate wedding walks are unpopular today, but a lovely bride will want to have an aura of confidence about her ability to float down the aisle to the music she has chosen.

Select a professional march that’s joyous, yet dignified. Your recessional music should be livelier in tempo - after all, you’ve just been married!

Beyond “The Bridal Chorus” from Lohengrin (“Here Comes The Bride”) and Mendelssohn’s “Wedding March”, here are some options for the ceremony:

For the processional:

• Couperin’s “Fanfare”

• Clarke’s “Prince of Denmark’s March”

• Handels’s “Sarabande” - Suite No. 11

During the ceremony:

• Pachelbel’s “Canon in D Minor”

• Bach’s “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring”

• Mendelssohn’s “First Organ Sonata”

• Bernstein and Sndheim’s “One Hand, One Heart”

• Malottes’s “The Lord’s Prayer”

For the recessional:

• Buxtehude’s “Fugue in C Minor”

• Mouret’s “Rondo”

• Simon and Garfunkel’s “Benedictus”

Reception Selections

Music sets the mood for your reception - consider your selections carefully. You might have DJ spinning discs, or a jazz musician tickling the ivories. A 30-piece orchestra or a rowdy rock band might play “your song”. Just remember to feature a variety of music - slow romantic numbers as well as rousing dance tunes.

Music should entertain both younger and older guests. Plan some selections for dancing, others just for listening. The music shouldn’t be so loud as to hinder conversation.

At a small wedding, a pianist or jazz trio is a good choice. A “wedding band” is a popular choice - they’re trained to play to all different age groups. A DJ is usually a very economical choice. These entertainers can provide a great variety of music, from rock & roll to waltzes. Many disc jockeys can also provide lighting effects.

When interviewing musicians, find out the size of the group, the instruments played, and whether or not they feature vocalists. Ask the musicians or DJ for a current song list. You’ll want to have a large variety of music to choose from, including selections from the following categories: Top 40, Broadway show tunes, ballads, rock & roll, Latin rhythms, fox trots, tangos, and waltzes. If possible, catch them in a live situation for a sneak preview of their performance style.

Music sets the mood for your reception - consider your selections carefully. You might have DJ spinning discs, or a jazz musician tickling the ivories.

Make sure the entertainment can accommodate your personal preferences. Indicate songs you’d like played during special moments. You might request one of the groom’s favorite tunes as the wedding party sits down to dinner. “The Anniversary Song” or “The Girl That I Marry” are meaningful choices for the first dance between the new husband and wife.

Music is also played during the cake-cutting, when the bride’s bouquet and garter are tossed, and to signal the bride and groom’s leave-taking.

You should expect a professional attitude and appearance in the entertainment you hire. Ask if one of the band members or DJ can act as the master of ceremonies if you need one. Determine how long the band plays (usually, 45-minutes sets, flowed with 15-minute breaks). Make sure they can provide recorded music during breaks.

From setting up the musical equipment to tearing it back down, the band or DJ will spend four to six hours at your reception, and they will get hungry. It’s customary to provide them with refreshments - sandwiches, non-alcoholic beverages, or a plate from the buffet. A happy band or DJ contributes greatly to the festive mood of your party.

Inform the entertainment manager whom to contact at the reception site so he or she can check out the facilities ahead of time for acoustics, lighting arrangements, etc. If you’re planning an outdoor reception, decide where the party will move in case of rain.

Don’t leave any of the details to chance r memory - write them down in a contract. Your contract with the entertainment should include: the date, time, location, set-up time, number and length of sets, payment, overtime fees, cancellation and postponement policies, entertainer’s attire, and any special considerations.