Intriguing Invitations
A wedding invitation peeking out of the mailbox is always a pleasant sight. Make sure your message expresses the warmth and happiness you wish to share with your guests.
As with every aspect of planning a wedding, traditional guidelines exist for wording, paper and engraving of wedding invitations and announce-ments. Many couples, however, come up with informal and creative variations.
A very formal wedding still commands the use of very proper wording engraved on thick, creamy paper. A less formal celebration might call for pastel ink on parchment.
THE GUEST LIST
After you've decided on a budget and the number of guests to invite, ask your fiancé and his family to make up their list. Let them know how many you hope they'll invite. Normally, each family invites half the guests. Another option: divide the guest list into three sections. The groom's family, the bride's family and the bridal couple each invite a third. As a rule of thumb, expect about three-fourths of those invited to attend.
Invitations should be sent to your wedding officiant and spouse, your fiance's immediate family, and members of your wedding party and their parents. You are not obligated to invite companions for single friends on your list.
If you do wish to invite the friend or fiancé of a single guest, ask for that person's name and address and send a separate invitation. If the couple lives together, mail a joint invitation, as you would for a married couple.
While drawing up your invitation list, put together your announcement list. This list should include acquaintances not invited to the wedding with whom you wish to share the good news. Neither an invitation nor announcement requires a gift - feel free to send them to everyone. Order 50 to 100 extra invitations and envelopes to allow for addressing mistakes.
PAPER AND PRINTING
While handwritten invitations are appropriate for a small ceremony - 50 guests or less - for a larger wedding, you'll want printed invitations.
A classic formal invitation is printed or engraved on the top page of a folded sheet of white or off-white paper. A small inner envelope, ungummed and unscaled, encloses the invitation or announcement. This is placed inside a larger envelope which is addressed and stamped.
Add a personal touch to your invitations using translucent or shiny paper, colored ink or a special border. If you select colored ink, use the same shade to address the envelopes. Select someone with beautiful handwriting, perhaps a professional calligrapher, to address envelopes or write invitations.
Order invitations and announcements at least three months before the wedding to allow time for printing, addressing and mailing. Engraving may take longer. Have the envelopes delivered early for addressing ahead of time.
ADDRESSING
Compose a master list on index cards; make sure all names and titles are spelled correctly. Address all invitations by hand, in blue, blue-black or black ink; never use a typewriter.
The only abbreviations used are Mr., Mrs., Ms., Je. and Dr. Most elected officials are addressed as The Honorable; the clergy as The Reverend Father, or Rabbi; and high-rank-ing military personnel as Commander, Colonel, etc. A single woman, even a child, is addressed as Miss or Ms. Young boys are addressed as Master. Try to avoid nicknames or initials. Spell out streets, cities and states in full, and don't forget zip codes.
If several members of a family are invited, avoid using the phrase "and family." You want each person to feel the invitation is meant especially for them. On the inner envelope, include the name of each child invited:
Mr. and Mrs. McBride
Abigail and David
Adult members of a family should receive separate invitations, whether or not they live with their parents. Send one joint invitation to two brothers or two sisters living at the same address.
Invitations should be mailed 4 to 6 weeks before the ceremony. Two months is courteous if you plan to marry during the holidays.
Allow people time to consider your invitation and word their replies. Depending upon the formality of your invitation, they'll respond with formal written acceptances or regrets, informal notes, phone calls or response cards.
If you haven't had a response from a guest two weeks before the wedding, call and check. When each invitation is accounted for, tell your caterer how many guests to expect.
Formal announcements, created in the style of your invitation, should be mailed the day of the wedding or immediately afterward. Ask a bridesmaid or family member to do this if you don't have time.
KEEPING TRACK
As soon as your invitations are sent, you'll begin receiving calls and notes from guests. saying they can hardly wait. Promptly record who's coming, and who won't be able to attend. Allow space in your filing system to describe gifts received, and make a notation when a thank-you note is sent.
SPECIAL ENCLOSURES
Enclosures are printed in the same style as the invitation itself. At-home cards may be enclosed with formal invitations, but are usually sent with announcements. These are small cards informing everyone of your new address and the date you'll be ready to receive mail and visitors there.
Ceremony cards are sent if there's a chance that uninvited persons may try to attend, or if the wedding is held in a public or historic place. Engraved cards may be enclosed with the invitations, to be presented at the door for admittance. For other types of enclosures you may wish to ask your printer, stationery or wedding consultant.
WEDDING PROGRAMS
A program is extremely helpful in guiding your guests through the ceremony and is a wonderful memento of your wedding. It provides vital information and might be an elaborate booklet, a calligraphy-inscribed scroll, or a preprinted wedding bulletin with your wedding service photocopied inside.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Normally, announcements are not mailed to anyone who has been invited to the wedding. But they may go out after an intimate ceremony for family only, after an elopement, or a wedding so far away that many people could not attend. Business associates with whom the couple work day to day might also receive announcements. (Remember, no one receiving an announcement need feel obligated to send a gift.)
Printing and paper for the announcements are the same as for invitations. Announcements should be addressed like invitations and, whenever possible, mailed out immediately after the ceremony.
